Fragments of a Silent Rebellion Part 2: The Diagnosis That Named Me

  • Samer Beyhum
  • April 21, 2025

I wasn’t diagnosed with dyslexia until I was sixteen. By then, the damage had already been done not just by the condition itself, but by the silence surrounding it. In post-war Lebanon, things like learning differences weren’t discussed… they were dismissed, denied, shamed. Mental health was taboo. Neurodivergence had no language. You were either “smart” or “stupid,” and I had been labeled the latter more times than I could count.

I wasn’t just dyslexic. I carried the full constellation: dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, dyspraxia. Severely so. My spelling was wild and unpredictable; I could never spell the same word the same way twice. Numbers floated off the page like they didn’t want to be pinned down. I mixed up symbols, signs, and sequences. My notebooks were a battlefield of effort and error. And yet, beneath the mess, there was always something undeniable; something no one, not even the most dismissive teacher, could fully explain away.

Because I noticed things. Patterns. Gaps. Truths hiding in plain sight. I could answer the questions no one else could, but then stumble over the ones everyone else got right. I didn’t fit the mold, but I was not empty.

It was my mother who first refused to believe the lie that I was “slow.” She saw the fire beneath the fog. She handed me Tintin and Asterix, comic books bursting with adventure and mystery, worlds where misfits made things happen. At first, it would take me an entire month to finish a single one. Then a week. Then a day. Then she gave me books, actual novels, and made sure they were series, stories that hooked me, pulled me forward. And suddenly, I was reading 30, sometimes 40 books a year. Not because it got easier. But because I had learned how to find the rhythm beneath the noise.

What she gave me was not just access; it was dignity. She taught me how to learn in my own language. To chase curiosity, not conformity. She helped me build a bridge between my brain and the world. One story at a time.

When the diagnosis finally came, it didn’t crush me, it freed me. It gave a name to the chaos. A shape to the struggle. I was lucky, my school didn’t treat it like a defect. They let me thrive. But I saw what happened to others. Kids expelled from schools the moment their diagnosis was made official. Parents, especially fathers, who chose denial over compassion. Therapy withheld. Shame weaponized. So many bright minds silenced before they could even speak because of a patriarchal society that thrives by denying what it refuse to see or accept.

We Lebanese excel at denial. But some of us learn to see through it. And once we do, we don’t go back.

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